Being in a negative headspace can make life more difficult than usual. It can become harder to think, and much harder to function normally when things feel like they won’t change or heal. Recently, I found myself in a bad state of mind. I was overthinking about a lot of things which made me become really hurt, also terrified. I didn’t want my thoughts to come true.
Sometimes it can become really hard to talk about the things we feel. It’s not always easy to put said problems into words, either. I decided to make this symbolic piece as a way to vent out my feelings and thoughts.
“My Last String” is a darker piece that focuses on a visual representation of my darker, not so happy state of mind. The wolf, who I have named “Terror” has multiple heads that represent different parts of me: Negative emotions, anxious/irrational thoughts, insecurity, and the overwhelming fear I feel when I get this way.
Symbolism – Terror
Terror is stitched up and has many strings attached, giving him a Frankenstein and ragdoll appearance. Terror’s design choice comes from the Legend of the Red String. “For the Japanese, who know so much and intuit more, human relations are predestined by a red string that the gods tie to the pinky fingers of those who find each other in life. Legend has it that the two people connected by this thread will have an important story, regardless of the time, place or circumstances. The red string might get tangled, contracted or stretched, as surely often happens, but it can never break.” Read the full article below, which goes into full detail about the Red String.
https://www.faena.com/aleph/the-legend-of-the-red-string-of-japan
Personally, I found myself very fascinated and captivated by the Legend of the Red String. Terror has a multitude of broken strings tied to his fur, which are meant to represent the amount of broken connections I’ve had with many people in my past. The long and final red string being held and pulled at represents my last string; meaning the last of my efforts to keep moving forward and break away from the headspace I found myself stuck in.
The needles and small amounts of blood inflicted on Terror represent how fatal the negativity can sometimes feel. Overthinking can severely hurt the mind emotionally, and it definitely made me hurt quite a bit.
Symbolism – Small Bear
The last string connects to a small pink bear, which was intended to represent me. I see myself in a soft sort of light; friendly, playful, and fun. Often times, I’ve considered myself to be much like that of a stuffed toy, due to the fact that I’m very physically affectionate, but have also been played with and used via my emotions and kindness. This self representation can also be seen heavily in “Toy Chest”. (Coming soon!)
The pink bear can be seen holding onto its last string, trying to keep Terror from pulling any further. The stuffing and ripped stitches from the small bear represents how I often feel hollowed out from the inside when I lose the connections I valued with people. It also shows visually how I’ve felt about the things that have happened to me. The loose eye was a small detail I added to show pain and the idea that I’ve been worn down constantly by my own thoughts but also experiences.
